Epic Augusta

Session 11: Swamp ASS (Puss for one)

Physically Present
DM: Joe
Zanlin: Robin
Mara: Roy
Trageon: Patrick
Helm: Jason

Cyberly Present
Ebon: Aaron

Totally Absent
Tanvir: Phillip

Menu: Hamburgers / Cheeseburgers / Fries

The sun rises and the group heads out to protect the laborers. Staying behind, Helm keeps a close eye on the cultists as a party leaves the compound the way they came with empty wagons only to watch more enter. The wagons were unloaded in the strong room once marked by Bog Luck. At 9:00pm of the first night of the second 10 day Helm started to here movement in the strong room like the night before. The adventures gather and layout the plan to move forward with the investigation of the Cult of the Dragon.

That night around midnight the team infiltrates the strong room with the help of Helm casting Pass w/o Trace. They moved into the tunnel and strategically worked their way through the dark thanks to Tanvir, Ebon, and Zanlin’s ability to see with their dark vision. Once they reached the end of the tunnel they scurried to cover and Tanvir informs the team that he sees the lizard folk heading down a trail into the swampy area. It is noted that there are 4 lizard folk and 2 giant lizards all in tow with crates on their backs. Zanlin speaks up and requests we rest AGAIN!

As we walk through the knee high, cold, and muddy swamp water Mara feels something slimy crawling up her inner thigh. She reaches down and finds a leach attached to her and removes it. She mentions to the group that Swamp Ass / Puss is something to be aware of. Zanlin AGAIN requests we rest. The team starts to look for solid ground to rest but find none, and they travel 7 more miles before they find a respectable place. Only one problem it is the camp of the lizard folk. At this time they are suffering from exhaustion.

The camp has four wicker lean to shelters and 3 canoes. The shelters are large enough for one lizard folk to rest. The four lizard folk are preparing to rest while the adventures move into position to attack. Helm casts Conjure Animal and places a ferocious ape in front of each lean to and initiates the attack. The adventures start to whittle down the lizard folk when the large lizard surprise them. In the middle of battle Helm rolls a 12 sided dice to hit and fails. (No wonder dumb ass you’re supposed to use a 20 sided) While wiping their blades a front of lizard folk were moving in by canoes from the north. Ebon made easy work of the group with a Fireball attack. The battle was won and the party began to investigate the area and Zanlin REQUESTED that we take a rest.

IMPORTANT!!! PK has just consumed burger # 7.5 (not sure where the .5 came from) __

While resting , during Helm’s watch he noticed movement in the trees. He quickly woke up his friends and they were attacked by 12 giant frogs. While Trageon and Helm are secured by three of the frogs tongues, one around the chest of Trageon and one around the chest of Helm with the other around his throat, Tanvir also known as Rhub places three others asleep. All twelve were defeated with little damage to the team.

At this point in the night the team is now at a level two exhaustion and can barely move to their resting place, and Ebon ends up with Swamp Ass while Mara ends up with Swamp Puss

8 Hours of Rest thanks to Zanlin’s persistence.

At 11:43 Technical Difficulty pauses the game! WILL TURN OFF NETFLIX!!!!!!

At first light Zanlin takes the corpse of one of the lizard folk and cast Speak with the Dead. While talking with him he learned that we needed to continue 8 miles on the same path via canoes toward a castle where there are many enemies.

Helm scouts ahead and returns when the party is a half a click away from an outpost which is about the same distance from the castle. In the outpost there are 6 lizard folk. The team puts together yet another strategic plan to move past the outpost by disguising themselves as cultists and with the use of magic.

At 12:35 Technical Difficulty pauses the game a second time! Will is sleeping!

At 12:46 we are back up and ruining but attacked by crickets (Rob’s mic) again!

We move up towards the heavily guarded castle to find:
 A couple Bully Wug and lizard folk by the long houses to the east.
 To the north 12 poorly constructed dung huts.
 The south we find a stockade area.
 To the southeast more long houses with lizard folk

Zanlin or Rhub known by others moves in to investigate. He comes up on some pins with Giant Lizard and ordered a couple lizard folk to the canoes to unload the crates. He continued his investigation and came up on a couple having relations. He goes in and pulls the male off of the female and while tempted to take his turn he tells the male to get to work. Afterwards he looks for a good place to REST! (Seriously)

Ebon casts invisibility and proceeds to follow the lizard folk into the castle. While stealthily moving through the castle he sees where the crates are being unloaded. Not far behind is the rest of the party all disguised as cultists. The first rooms we move into are many Bully Wugs and Snap Jaw stands off against Zanlin. Zanlin throws out: “Move aside!” Snap Jaw says: “What is your business here?” Zanlin pretty much tells him to kiss his Swamp Ass and lets him know that Bog Luck sent us. Snap Jaw and Zanlin eventually get to a point of understanding and they take us past the sorting area to our rooms for the night!

Zanlin gets his REST!!!! And ours!

View
Session 10: Zanlin fucked... But in an Unexpected Way
Pole - Sole Survivor

Members Present:
DM: Joe
Tanvir: Phillip
Ebon: Aaron
Zanlin: Robin
Mara: Roy
Helm: Jason
Trageon: Patrick

Pre-Session scuttlebutt centered around past games of Who? What? Things worthy of mentioning are:

  • holding Smokey aloft and licking his balls
  • Matt upset because his order of vibrators were messed up
  • whale blubber and shark piss
  • Matt being an All-Star Catcher

Session began with DM Joe Singleton and the party reviewing highlights of Session 9: Pan Flute Playoff. It had to be mentioned that Zanlin needed several unfair spells to become victorious in the playoff.

Session 10 Mission: Infiltrate the Cultists and see where they’re taking the contraband

Day 28 begins with the Teamsters announcing to the caravan that it’s time to head out along the Trade Way. The caravan is still two days out from Daggerford, which is situated between Waterdeep and Baldur’s Gate. The morning commute to Daggerford is seemingly uneventful. That all changed around 2:00pm. About a quarter mile in front of the caravan, a wagon, sporting a broken wheel and flanked by Hobgoblins armed with crossbows had the Trade Way blocked. It was also noticed that 4/5 people were underneath the wagon. The caravan stops.

Hobgoblin: “turn around or we’re coming for you next!”

Tanvir, with weapons drawn, walked toward the band of hobgoblins.

While the Teamsters and wagon owners discuss their plan to resolve the situation, Tanvir continues to approach forward. He gets 250 ft from the hobgoblins and one shouts, “10 more ft and we’ll let loose a barrage of weaponry!”

Tanvir, amidst a cloud of darkness, pompously moves forward 5ft.
Towards the back of the caravan, someone shouts, “send the Pan-flutist and his friends!” “Yeah! I second that!” Screams another voice.

As Mara begins to move forward, a hobgoblin shoots one of the people under the wagon—he lays motionless.
Zanlin, thinking fast and not wanting to spare the life of another innocent person, shouts at the hobgoblins, “How much for safe passage?”

With no hesitation, the hobgoblin replies, “travel wide and drop 100gp and you and your caravan lives.”

Pole, winner of many Sole Survivor competitions, steps across their line. Immediately stuck in the chest with two arrows. “Sorry guys, I tried my best! (Looking at Zanlin) can I get some of that healing again?”

At this time game was interrupted as Joe gagged the party with effects of Roy’s special sauce

Zanlin and Ebon, disregard the Teamsters plan and devise their own, requests a wagon. Pole obliges and delivers a wagon. To show appreciation Zanlin heals him…again.

Helm morphs into a Giant Wasp

Ebon and Zanlin feel a bag with rocks and drop it on the ground. Ebon and green Imsa sneak into the lead wagon, driven by Pole. Party travels wide as the Hobgoblins and one forward to retrieve their “bag of gold”. Ebon tries to charm the hobgoblin, but to no avail. Tanvir has Eldrich’s Blast readied and Zanlin with his crossbow.

Hobgoblin bends down, picks up the bag, looks into the bag, and yells—“WE’VE BEEN HAD!” Those were his last words as Tanvir and Zanlin drop him to the tune of a cross bolt and a perfectly timed Eldrich’s Blast!

Needless to say, the remaining hobgoblins are none too pleased. The leader of the recently pissed hobgoblins shouts instructions to his followers, “KILL THESE INTRUDERS!”

Mayhem ensued…

When the dust had somewhat settled Tanvir, kissed his dagger, tossed at the leader and drops him leaving one hobgoblin.

Zanlin: “Surrender before you end up like the rest of your friends.”

Before he can surrender, one of the other guards with the caravan sprints behind the hobgoblin, slashes his throat, and let’s out a MIGHTY SCREAM!

worthy of mentioning — Once again Pole was struck with two arrows in the chest causing him to slump into his seat in the wagon. Pole down….again! Zanlin heals Pole…again

Hobgoblins are searched and party finds 25gp and a +1 long sword that Trageon quickly snatches up.

A noble shows his appreciation by handing Zanlin a decorative ring (300gp).

Days 29-49 the caravan encounters no problems

Day 50 – The Caravan arrives at Daggerford

Teamsters make it known that there’s still 10 days of travel left to get to Waterdeep, so there won’t be much of a rest before the caravan gets back out on the road. 2 hours later the caravan leaves Daggerford with a several new travelers:

  • Female gnome – not attached to any single wagon
  • 2 beautiful sisters wearing leather armor
  • Human male dressed in robes covered in tattoos

The beautiful females draw some looks from the men with the caravan, (which Zanlin discovers later), but it’s the male human wearing robes that garner the majority of the party’s attention. The cultists haven’t let any one near their wagons the entire journey, but he walks up to their lead wagon, hands them a bag, and enters the drivers seat.

Shortly after the caravan leaves Daggerford Zanlin notices that one of the cultist is beginning to recognize him from a previous situation at a camp. Zanlin, remaining inconspicuous, notices at every break the cultist is staring him down.

Zanlin offers the two beauties to hop on a horse with him and Trageon. Trageon also noticed that the female gnome has taken interest in him.

Night sets in on Day 50 and the communal fire is the place to be. Guard approaches Zanlin about using his pan flute. Zanlin respectfully declines, but guard struggles accepting No for an answer. Zanlin tells him, “when you deem yourself worthy on the battlefield, you can blow my flute.”

Zanlin’s excitement for the evening was just beginning. Trageon, smarter than Zanlin, turns down an opportunity with the two beautiful, voluptuous sisters, but Zanlin thinks with the wrong head. Arietta and Zelina lead Zanlin into the wooded tree line on the outskirts of the communal fire. Heavy petting begins, but that’s as far as the fun gets with Zanlin. He leans in for a kiss and a grope, but instead gets hit with a stab to the gut! Zelina punches at Zanlin, but grazes the side oh his face. Zanlin, completely surprised, gets overpowered and manhandled by Arietta. She sticks a rag in his mouth trying to prevent him from alerting the others. Zanlin, after a struggle, breaks loose, removes the rag, screams help, and runs back to the fire.

Zanlin, casts cure light wounds on himself to stop the bleeding. He briefs the people at the fire. The pan flute playing guard offers to go with him to find the sisters trying to prove his worth. Zanlin declines.

The next morning the female gnome rushes to Trageon and warns him to not eat the oatmeal. She puts her dagger into his bowl of oatmeal and pulls out a curled bone sliver and stated how it could be lethal if swallowed. Trageon thanks her for saving his life. Jemna, female gnome, states to the party that she’d like to have regular meetings around her fire when necessary. She informed the party that they’re on the same side, but worn for different people. She looks at them and says, “Cult of Dragon must be stopped!”

After realizing the party, at this time, doesn’t know a whole lot Jemna informs them that the male human wearing robes that got on at Daggerford is a member of the “Red Wizard of Thay” organization, which aren’t thought of positively.

Later that night, Tristal the pan flute playing guard and Zanlin perform a concert for the caravan. After collecting 3gp for their efforts, Zanlin shares 1gp with Tristal, only enticing him more to blow Zanlin’s flute.

Next night Tristal purchases Zanlin’s pan flute for 1gp and a favor

The morning of Day 54 members of the caravan are woken to a commotion at a cultist’s wagon. People gather around to notice a dead cultist with a puncture wound in his back.

Cultist: “This man was murdered! He was killed by a rapier and I accuse you!” as he points at Zanlin. A verbal battle takes place between Zanlin and the accusing cultist. Zanlin proclaims his innocence.

“Red Wizard of Thay” asks for any witnesses and no one steps up. He states that since there isn’t any witnesses we must give the man the benefit of the doubt. The cultist, steaming mad, looks into Zanlin’s eyes, grits his teeth and says,“This isn’t over!”

Ebon, a skilled and trained investigator, checks the area out and confirms that footprints aren’t Zanlin’s and the wound is a puncture.

Day 60: The Caravan arrives at Waterdeep

Party receives payment for services rendered…

Green Imsa shares information with Ebon

Jemna finds the party an Inn

Helm, morphing into a Hawk, follows the cultists to a warehouse. The warehouse has a sign the says “Highroad Charter Co.”

Helm notices a cart filled with building supplies and another cart arriving from the south, totaling 5 carts in all.

The party approach the Caravan trying to latch on as guards to continue to try and infiltrate the cultists. Tanvir, Trageon, Ebon, Mara, and Jemna agree to provide their services for 5gp per 10day.

Zanlin purchased a “very fine” pan flute in Waterdeep

Zanlin goes into disguise and for the remainder of this summary will be referred to as Rhub Arbstark.

Rhub Arbstark, latches on to the caravan as a guard, and introduces himself to the party.

The new caravan, lead by Ardred Briferhew, is traveling with:

  • 2 dozen labored
  • 10 wagons
  • 12 guards (including Pole)

Ardred informs the caravan that the work camp is 200 miles up the coast.

The first couple of days the caravan travels with no interruptions, but on the morning of the 3rd day the caravan pulls off the side of the road at a wooded area.
The party is surprised and confronted by 2 8ft green creatures with long hair and long claws. Rhub is dropped when he is hit with a flurry of claws and topped off with a bite. A second creature attacks Tanvir hit him with claws seriously damaging him.

Pole leads the party off with a tiny dagger scraping the creature identified as a troll.
Ebon, with the ring of lightning bolt, puts a serious hurting on the second troll. Helm cures Rhub with a spell and Rhub cures himself.

Troll #1 crits Pole with those deadly claws, dropping him…yet again!

Mara uses her two attacks wisely on Troll #2 hitting him twice and dropping him.

Troll #1 not giving up, fights back dropping Tanvir with a claw and ferocious bite.

Rhub, making the most of his opportunity, revitalizes Tanvir with a Healing Word.

Mara, responsible for dropping Troll #2, proves to be the hero of the battle critting the remaining troll on her second attack, dropping the worthy adversary.

Rhub revives Pole…yet again!

Party sets up camp and takes a long rest after a demanding battle with the trolls

Joe wallers in his shit

Party arrives at the “Mere of Dead Man”, a swampy area around noon the next day. At the end of the day, the caravan arrives at the work camp.

The party notices that wagons are taken in 1 by 1. They also notice a half-Orc named Bog Luck, leader of Dragon Cult, is marking the cultists boxes and taking them to a different location within the warehouse.

Helm, morphs into a rat, and scurries through the Roadhouse at work camp and investigates. He finds that building supplies are in the other warehouse. Some other words overheard from cultists’ room are:

  • Bog Luck
  • Lizard folk
  • Strong room
  • Tunnel

Ebon and Helm, still a rat devise a plan to infiltrate the strong room. Ebon goes invisible and the lock to the strong room doesn’t present much of a challenge as he picks it with no troubles. Once inside the strong room, they investigate and find:

  • half of the cargo put in there is gone
  • crate nailed to wood on the floor
  • trap door under the crate
    1. Trap door leads into a slimy, dripping tunnel
    2. 4 Lizard Folk enter room, pick up one box, and head back into the tunnel.
View
Session 9: Pan Flute Playoff
Pan Flute Playoff

The group has been through many harrowing moments the last few weeks and it looks as though things will continue as they return to Greenst with the the dragon eggs in tow. After much inspection by town officials the group split up the gold from the sale of the eggs. Leosin Erlanther, the monk, convinces the group to accompany him to Elturel to meet his good friend, Unthar Flune, Dwarven Paliden in the Order of the Gauntlet. It is at this time it finally comes to light that the monk is a member of the secretive Harpers.

Early the next morning, the 6 adventurers, set out with the monk and his man servant on the 6 day journey to Elturel. The trip is peaceful as the group gets to know each other better and relax somewhat. As they approach Elturel, they are amazed by the large glowing globe that is in constant suspension above the settlement, lighting the sky.

They finally find the Tavern where they will find Unthar, the “Black Antlers”. As we enter we can here the loud and boisterous Unthar holding court with two tables as he tells a tale of his adventers. He notices Tregeon as the twos’ eyes meet and they simply nod at one another. After reporting that Cyanwrath breathes no longer the dward and monk retire to the next room to discuss the situation. Before he leaves Unthar sees to it that the group is fed and waited on. Zanlin wins a few coins at the cards as the group kicks back to relax the evening, waking to meet with Unthar over breakfast as a few of the members take the opportunity to clean up.

The group is informed that the cult is taking a caravan to Bauldar’s Gate to meet up and head to Waterdeep. We are informed that for the prize of a 1200 gp valued ruby we need to infiltrate the caravan and meet up with a contact in Bauldar’s Gate, by the name of Ackyn Selebon, an equipment salesman in the north gate district.

It will be a 4 day trip by boat up the Chionthat River. As the group boards their passage boat called the “Long Snapper”. Zanlin comments on how he has been told he has one too.
On the 3rd day of the trip, the group encounters a trio of Ogres who require a toll to pass under their bridge. After some bluffing Zanlin gets the price down to 50 GP and the group travels on.

The group arrive at Bauldar’s Gate and quickly make contact with their man, Selebon, who informs them that they will need to fit in to get hired on by people in the caravan. We gather our 40 days of rations and realize that not all the people in the caravan are cultist.

Trageon gets hired on for 1GP a day by an odd man transporting a wagon full of dirt and a gargoyle. He lets no one near the wagon.

Helm gets hired on by a man named Bayde, for 1GP a day, who has a mobile bar with evening entertainment. He is very cruel to his animals.

Zanlin gets hired on by an obese man, Zamerdag, transporting fine porcelain for 12GP per 10 days, He has a second guard who is well over 7 feet tall simply referred to as the “Pole”

Tanvir gets hired by a man with birds for 5 GP every 10 days while Mara hires on with a family of 5 for 10 GP for the entire trip.

Ebon meets a green woman, both unable to find employment. They decide to travel together in hopes of getting hired later.

Zanlin recognizes some cultist who buy 3 wagons, a total of 9 men. They turn all away from their wagons.

Making about 15-20 miles a day the first 10 days will be the roughest. The group comes across a group of over 200 followers of Lovithar, goddess of pain. The caravan pushes through as some of the cultist want members of the group to beat them.

Around 3:00 PM on the 10th day the caravan is attacked by 3 eagle like creatures who kill several guards including “Pole”. Five guards who approached the caravan a few days before looking for pay hide under a wagon. Mara is able to rescue the small boy of the family she is employed by as Zanlin puts one of the creatures asleep. The group wins the day as Zanlin berates the guards, causing them to leave.

As the caravan reorganizes, Zanlin gets his lute out and begins to sing a song of rest Helm aids the wounded. The next 6 days are uneventful as the caravan travel on. On the night of the 17th day, as everyone gathers around the communal fire one of the guards picks up Zanlin’s flute and begins to playit and dance around, much to Zanlin’s displeasure. He challenges Zanlin to a Pan Flute playoff to which Zanlin accepts and wins. The guard exits still saying how much he likes Zanlin’s flute.

The caravan comes across a man by the name of Jasper Amoffel, buried in the ground up to his neck who claims to be a good friend of the monk.

With the rain pouring down, on the 20th night the caravan comes across a weigh station Inn. The keeper says the inn is full but their is only 5 people inside. After continual insults a Mara & Ebon are drawn into a fight with the robed figure and 4 guards. Quickly the rest of the party joins in and after a tough battle The robed man is finally finished off as Tregeon cuts down the sergeant, as he threw his hands in the air. The caravan spends the night inside the inn as they find out the snobbish group had forged papers. Helm takes this time to convince Bayde to treat his mounts better.

The next morning the caravan sets out early with the smell of rain in the air. Days 21 to 25 go uneventful when on the morning of the 26t day Zanlin notices his flute is missing. He confronts the guard, who quickly denies any involvement. The guard falls as Zanlin swiftly kicks him in the privates and retrieves his flute.
The group wakes up to start it’s 27th day on the road as Zanlin still fumes over his flute.

View
Session Eight
View
Session Seven
View
Session Six
View
Session Five
View
Session Four
View
Session Three
View
Session Two
View

I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.